Whatever program is used to generate spam with random bits of eloquence, I want it. I plan on doing a David Byrne-style book that reinterprets spam as art.

I mean, just check this shit out. I present to you Exhibit A, entitled “Why?” from Lorie:

“Let us begin,” the court president, a bald-headed and pudgy fleet admiral, said with fitting solemnity. “Let the trial open, let justice be done with utmost dispatch, and the prisoner found guilty and shot.”

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“That last one sounds real interesting. Before I was forcefully enlisted I was taking a correspondence course in Technical Fertilizer Operating.” “Why that’s wonderful! You must tell me more about it, but sit down first, get comfortable.” He led Bill to a deep, upholstered chair, then turned away to extract two plastic cartons from a dispenser. “And have a cooling Alco-Jolt while you’re talking.”